lucy/18/england
keep your boots tight

currently reading: shirley, charlotte brontë
currently watching: the mindy project

nayx:

*goes to bed at 2am instead of 5am* wow, my life is so in order right now.  i’m making such good decisions for myself and my body and my soul and im so in love with myself for doing this

"

1. “you’ve got blackberry juice right there,” i say, leaning forward and smudging it away with my fingertips before i can stop myself. i’m so happy there are stars in my eyes, blinding and white-hot. i’m breathless with something that someone else might call fear, but it’s not fear, it’s not. “it’s blood,” he says when i turn away. “what?” “it’s not blackberry juice, it’s blood,” he blurts out, and when i look back at him i can’t see a goddamn thing, there’s white so heavy it crushes my lungs, and my ribs crack, loud, like fireworks, and i don’t like this dream anymore.

2. see, we’re in this abandoned house, okay, and it’s midsummer, the air hellish and so thick you could stir it with a spoon, just the way you like it, and no don’t interrupt me i’m so tired of being interrupted i don’t want to start this godforsaken story again. i don’t want to do it.

3. “fear isn’t a pink feeling, you know? but the fear was pink, and that’s how i knew something was off.” i don’t feel like talking about it. “you know that color the tips of your fingers turn when it’s bitter cold and your bones ache like they’re longing for the grave?” the words claw their way out of my mouth, vicious, hungry. “it was that color. i saw it everywhere until i swear to god i wish i was blind. i swear to god.”

"

recent dreams (via janesyre) ←

"Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65, or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen."

Anne Lamott  (via floricawild) ←